A day in the office

This conversation happened not too long ago, between me and an acquaintance.

(upon being ushered away from a lunch table to make room for "the wives club" (an organization of officials' spouses in my office)):

• me (in a rather loud, annoyed voice): I don't understand why there needs to be such an organization for the wives, what's it good for anyway?
• acquaintance: Shh, not too loud they might hear you.
• me: So what? (wanted to say "so f****in what??" but I don't swear in the company of office folk...only in familiar company do I "let myself go") Let them hear me, I don't care.
• acq: But you'll get in trouble.
• me: What can they do? If they think bad of me so be it.
• acq: I don't mean it like that. What I meant was, you'd get mad too if someone bad-mouthed our organization. (note the emphasis on "our organization"... did he mean the office?? Seriously?? Oh, I couldn't care less!)
• me: So what if someone thought "our organization" sucks, I don't care. Let them say what they want, people are entitled to different opinions.
• acq: Well, it's up to you, I'm just trying to warn you nicely, but it's up to you. It's a positive organization, aimed as a positive activity for the wives who are mostly housewives with little to do. (with a super-patronizing look plastered on his face)
• me: (speechless, as I get when baffled by others' behaviour/way of thinking...) (Huh??!!) ...Well.. Okay... but suppose there's an organization like this, but for husbands. Would you join it?
• acq: No, I wouldn't. Because as a man my main duty is to provide for my family.
• me: (even more stumped, and decide to leave the table)

Trying to think positively, I convince myself that he meant well in warning me, that he was worried that my ass would be on the line if they dislike my opinion and decide to rat on me to their husbands (i.e my superiors).

But my simple mind decides to think: What a typical chauvinistic ass-kissing prick!!!!!

Things that Make Me Want to Get the Hell Outta Here!!!

I'm so tired of this so-called office I'm stuck in.... I've wanted to quit since 2 years ago but things just seem to come up all the time I've mustered the courage--hold on, not the courage to say "I quit" to the boss, but the courage to conquer my over-bearing conscience & dumb quasi-patriotic ambition to "do my part" for my country. Also, I'm always stumped waiting for the "right moment". It never seems to come, and when it does, there's always something that keeps me from quitting. :/

Well, some things encourage me even more to soldier on, but some other things succeeded in dampening my mood.
This is my effort to sort things out, in my attempt to determine whether to quit this job....

Good things:
1. I actually like this job better than other jobs I've tried, and I feel that I'm pretty good at this
2. The person in charge of my unit. She's smart, kind, caring & bold. Although her sharp tongue can hurt your feelings, it's just her way and if you get to know her you'd understand. Ppl hate her because she's strict but I respect her for it.
3. There are some really decent ppl here, and they've shown me kind attention these past 3 years.
4. The ppl I get to meet because of this job. Some great personalities and friends I found because of this job.

Ugly aspects:
1. The corruption
2. The corruption
3. The corruption
4. (Blind) nepotism. I'm not against relatives helping each other to get a job, provided they'll be good at it, and earn it, and are better than others competing for the same job. But the examples here are APALLING!!!
5. Getting certain positions because they're related or close to someone in higher positions. Still in connection with the one above, but this is worse, because these types are usually only good at ass-kissing and snatching opportunities.
6. The person who was previously head of my unit (wont tell which unit, because it's not fair, this is just my own opinion and dislikes). Pessimist and compliant to the boss' wishes, and at some occasions accused me of not "working hard enough" when I've sacrificed quite a lot for this job. (including a vast portion of my social life & time with my family)
7. The ass-kissers (included and not included in #5)
8. Missing the opportunity to be with my baby boy. I wasn't the one who saw him lean over and grab his feet for the first time, and I might also miss other golden moments. If only I can take time off for a couple of years, or work from home.....
9. The distance between my house and the office. Not a prob before, but now it's different.
10. Some ppl at work who just seem to get on my nerve!!!!



So... what does that give me? 4 reasons to stay and... 10 reasons to quit (even if numbers 2 & 3 don't count, there'd still be 8, and I can think of some more, heh heh).
I'll just wait till the right moment comes, maybe in a couple of months time...
Hopefully, I'll have a darn good reason for quitting by then.

The importance of being earnest

I just don't understand some people!!

Why do ppl say one thing when they mean another?
Why do ppl consider themselves as "open minded" when they're not?
Why do ppl say they're your "best friend" and they don't really let you in on things, making you feel left out?

That's why I don't trust people easily, that's why I have many "friends" but can count my true friends on one hand.

hmmm.... while I'm at it, might as well continue the rant...

What bugs me (as an addition to the above):

• people who can't spell right (or who throw their grammar out the window, or type with alternating caps& numbers for letters liK3 tH15)
• people who claim they're translators/interpreters but don't really have a grasp of the language and hand out crappy work or let out crappy English in their friendster/facebook/multiply/myspace profiles & blogs
• people who think they have the best talent/looks/personality/etc
• people who can't accept other's differences
• people who don't have manners and/or disrespects others
• whiners & lame-ass cry-babies who complain all the time but don't do anything to fix their situation

While obviously I'm not perfect either, I don't go about making those false claims or acting fake.
Although I do sometimes feign interest or pretend I'm enjoying someone else's company when I'm not, out of politeness. At those times I'd secretly wish I knew voodoo or something to make that person disappear, and beat myself up inside for not being able to be a bit more cruel to others and just do what I want/be what I'd rather be.

Come to think of it, maybe it's me that's the hypocrite, and I should just be frank and snap at everyone whenever I want to...

...but that's just impolite...

Clinging to the Status Quo

Doesn't it bug you when you have to pack up and leave just when you're beginning to enjoy yourself?

I'm really starting to get more and more interested in the subjects offered in my course, and really starting to get all excited and wanting to know more on this "new world" I loathed before. And in about two months I'll be going back to my old life as a government employee, leaving behind the meager two-semester chance of revisiting the good ole student days.

True, I hated politics and economics before--had been hating those subjects for as long as I could remember--and couldn't care less about what I was to learn at uni. It was an instruction from the office to go back and get a masters degree, you see. And they also limited the subjects, forcing me to take on the two subjects I'm most apprehensive about.

Maybe it's true what they say, you can learn to like something if you're regularly exposed to it. .